Comments on: Day One and we are off! http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/ Gay Historical Fiction Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:51:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Chris http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-2264 Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:44:44 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-2264 Got one at last! I’m slooow, huh?

What’s yellow and sweet and swings through the jungle beating his chest?

Tarzipan.
:P

]]> By: Erastes http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-2054 Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:06:43 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-2054 yes–he really was a git

]]> By: JoAnne Soper-Cook http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-2053 Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:02:13 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-2053 Oh, Cromwell, that nasty, poxy old so-and-so. Round up the mince pies! Second those geese to some other hearth!

You know, I think what he really needed is a good duff up the arse…

]]> By: ruthsims http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1980 Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:54:49 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1980 I’m a day late reading it, but it’s a crackerjack start to the Advent calendar, Erastes! This was such a great idea. I hope to get whatever I come up with to you by the end of the week. Thanks to everybody for the hilarious howlers. And a minute ago I walked into our living room, glanced up at the Christmas tree, saw the blissful look on the feathery angel atop it–and fell apart. My husband is still looking puzzled. And every time I try to tell him I start laughing again.

]]> By: ruthsims http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1979 Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:51:48 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1979 I never heard that one before and I’m still laughing. God, these are so good — and I can’t get a single one to come to mind!

]]> By: George Allwynn http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1967 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:39:58 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1967 The angel on top of the tree – every year when I place her on there, she makes a little “woo-hoo-hoo” sound.

Whoever has the pleasure of decorating the tree with me, seriously cracks up

and Lisa – that joke was the balls! Thank god I never open my email from places I’ve ordered when there is an audiance around…

]]> By: Mina http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1966 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:14:46 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1966 I had to hit google, since I know no good Christmas jokes.

“What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?”

“Claustrophobic.”

As you can tell, I couldn’t FIND any good ones either.

]]> By: K. Z. Snow http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1965 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:55:06 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1965 George ~ I suspect that’s the case, but we must be respectful and alter his image one step at a time. ;-)

(Oh, these have cracked me up!)

]]> By: Ken craigside http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1963 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 01:12:49 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1963 Bob and i have just set up Christmas. This always happens just after Thanksgiving, My grandmother’s Victorian mirror in the foyer is swaddled with greens as well as a collection of period musical instruments. The grand piano and the living room bookshelf become supports for the English railway Dickensian village. Britains toy figures abound. But here’s the colorful thing…atop the Christmas tree, branch up her ass, is an angel….giving credence to the last joke. I vote for it to win your prize

Happy Christmass all, and may your crackers display wonders!

]]> By: Lisa S. C. http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1962 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:39:10 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1962 When you order for Christmas be careful!

DEAR MADAM:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER
FROM OUR SEX TOYS WEBSITE.

YOU’VE REQUESTED THE LARGE RED
VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL
DISPLAY.

PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM.

THAT’S OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER

]]> By: Clive Howe http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1961 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 23:35:40 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1961 Not a particularly new one, but it always makes me smile…..

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the alcohol, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the
kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree !!

]]> By: Mara http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1960 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 23:20:38 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1960 I don’t know any jokes (please don’t include me in the giveaways; I have all the books and don’t need anything else), but just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading about the historical details in your post, especially the rituals. Details of everyday life are always the most interesting.

]]> By: Chris http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1959 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:26:24 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1959 Omg, you and Steve Hewitt doing advent calenders! Wonderful!

I’ll have to think on the joke…

btw, I Wii-ed today! \o/ I’m a tennis pro now, lol.

]]> By: George Allwynn http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1958 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:51:44 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1958 KZ -

Nuts! And here I was, all these years, thinking Santa was so jolly because of the the drone-supply of Keebler elf men!

(and you can take that both ways! snort!)

BTW folks – these have been groan-ific! I’m having a bad day here (haven’t been to bed in 36 hours) but the jokes are like a shot of vitiamin B…

]]> By: K. Z. Snow http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1957 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:34:20 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1957 This is blatant theft, but I SO love George Carlin (RIP):

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

(Booyah!)

]]> By: jeannebarrack1 http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1956 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:13:16 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1956 OMG, you guys have bent my funny bone until it’s near breaking.
Great info,. Erastes.
Only funny thing I can think of re. Christmas is that when I was a little girl I always wondered why my friend, Janet sang a song about a King named “applesauce”!

]]> By: Alex Beecroft http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1955 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:28:23 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1955 LOL! Genius :D

]]> By: Lee Rowan http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1954 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:03:05 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1954 Oldie but one of my favorites… the annual Christmas Dinner of the Chess Enthusiasts of Greater Boston, gathered in a fine downtown hotel preparatory to entering the ballroom. As they stand around exchanging stories of tournaments won and lost, their raucous behavior starts to annoy other guests.

Finally one fellow goes up to the manager and says, “Do we have to put up with these chess nuts boasting in an open foyer?”

]]> By: mrb http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1953 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:20:40 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1953 Q: Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!

]]> By: Mirien http://speakitsname.com/2009/12/01/day-one-and-we-are-off/#comment-1952 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:59:55 +0000 http://speakitsname.wordpress.com/?p=1595#comment-1952 Cromwell is one of those people for whom I reserve a special but heartfelt loathing.

I do love the idea of fake snow, 17th century style!

Mine isn’t a joke as such, it’s an announcement from a parish Christmas newsletter.

“Remember the Christmas cleaning of the Parish Hall this Saturday. We need lots volunteers to join the work crew. There is a long list of items to be cleaned. The widows will need extra attention.”

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