Review: Unspoken by R.A. Padmos

Stefan is a working-class man – or would be, if there was any work! – when he meets Adri and they begin an affair. Married with children, Stefan resists this development in a society where homosexuality is legal but scarcely tolerated. Nor does he understand when Adri warns him about the territorial ambitions of Hitler’s Germany, which their country will be unable to oppose. In a daily battle against guilt, poverty and other, more tangible enemies, Stefan and Adri struggle to hold on to a love which should never have existed at all – but which may be the only thing helping them to survive.

58,000 words/220 pages

Review by Michael Joseph

“Unspoken” is told from the point of view of Stefan, a 30-something working class man in a small-ish Dutch town. He is married with three children as the book opens, and if you asked him, he would probably say he’s happy, except for the problem of finding work to provide for his family in the middle of the depression. Stefan has done what was expected of him; he got married to a good woman, fathered children, and does whatever work he can find to put food on the table for them. He doesn’t know any better.

Then, one day in the dole queue, Stefan meets Adri, and it changes everything, or nothing. Stefan doesn’t understand his feelings at first, and Adri for his part takes things slowly. Unlike Stefan, Adri has always known that he prefers the company of men, and only men. His stepfather threw him out on the street when Adri’s predilections became clear, and he’s managed to survive thanks to the mentoring of other men like him.

Adri bides his time in part because he’s waiting until he’s 21 and completely legal. When he tries for his first kiss, Stefan is shocked, but not reviled. He’s confused by his feelings, as he remains for the entire book, which spans ten years of their relationship. Stefan is steadfastly loyal to his family, even though it’s obvious that his wife Marije’s feelings for him are no stronger than his for her, but his desire for Adri knows no reason and he can’t help but be drawn to the younger man.

You know those Bergman-inspired films of the 1960s, or even the parodies of them? You know, the ones where people just sit around, smoking cigarettes and talking? Sometimes the talk gets quite emotional, but in the end nothing actually happens. Well, that’s the feeling I had for much of this book. There’s a lot of angst from Stefan, as he’s torn between the duty to his family that his upbringing tells him is expected from a man, and his true love for Adri.

The younger Adri is a bit more worldly than Stefan, and he’s the one that initiates many of the discussions about what’s going on around them, such as Hitler’s rise in Germany. It’s also from Adri that we get lamentations about how homosexuals are second-class citizens who can’t, for example, get married. The discussions reflect the current debate over gay marriage. Now, the idea of two depression-era men discussing the merits of gay marriage in itself seems a bit unrealistic. These men have much bigger problems facing them. But, in a way, that’s almost beside the point. What struck me was that there was nothing new here. It’s still the same argument, and sending it back in time 75 years doesn’t change anything, and in the context it even comes off as a bit wingeing. As the discussions went on I began to wonder if the author really had anything to say, and with all the talking going on I started to think that the title, “Unspoken”, was some kind of joke I didn’t get.

Like those films I was talking about, “Unspoken” is told in a coldly objective, almost documentary-like tone that puts an emotional distance between the reader and the characters. Their drama is played out in front of us with a rather dispassionate voice. Not that there’s really much drama. The relationship has its ups and downs, as there are arguments and disagreements, and Stefan tries more than once to quit Adri, but it seems like they’re never put to the test, even though there are lots of opportunities. Early on, when a policeman catches them snogging in the park, they’re ‘invited’ down to the police station. But once they confirm Adri is of-age and ‘willing’ they let Stefan off with a slap on the wrist rather than charging him with public indecency. Likewise, when Germany invades and the two men are called up to defend Holland, they’re separated briefly but within a few paragraphs they’re back together again. More opportunities for a little drama are missed as the story plods along through the occupation.

To be honest, this book was headed for a two or two-and-a-half star rating, but it rather redeemed itself in the end. Hopefully it’s not too much of a spoiler to disclose that the two men survive the war. The issue here is at what cost. There’s a telling scene near the end where Stefan is leaving the park where he and Adri used to meet. The Germans have lost the war, but haven’t quit the city yet. Stefan has come to the park in search of fuel for the fires to keep them warm. He has taken the last scraps of wood from the bench where he and Adri once sat. The park has been stripped bare of anything that can be burned, eaten or traded in people’s desperate attempts to stay alive until the allies come. It’s a powerful metaphor for Stefan’s own emotions, which have been drained away by years of despair and worry over how to keep his family safe, put food on the table, and what will happen to his lover.

Adri is not quite the same person either. The open and optimistic young bohemian worked for the Resistance, and survived by learning how to hide things, even from his beloved Stefan. He talks of moving away once the war is over, starting a new life somewhere else, where he might even meet a man that he doesn’t have to share with a wife and children. Both men have survived, somewhat against the odds, but it’s taken everything they had, and it’s not clear if they have anything left for each other.

This is a hard book to categorize, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes it hard to suggest who the audience might be. It’s hard to call it romance, given the angst-ridden nature of the main character. You certainly wouldn’t call it erotica. The descriptions of the men’s many sexual encounters are as quick and furtive as the encounters themselves. It’s decidedly un-erotic. As history, much of it rings true, aside from the rather ‘modern’ discussions about gay marriage, but here we run up against the question of what it all means. I couldn’t help thinking the author was trying to say something, but perhaps that’s what the unspoken part is.

In the end, I’ve decided to give “Unspoken” three stars.

Find our more about R. A. Padmos at her blog.

The book appears to be available only directly from Manifold Press

4 Responses

  1. I’m intrigued – I’d like to give this one a read, but did they seriously ignore the fact that 1. Dutch police arrested gay men regularly and 2. The Germans made homosexuality illegal when they took over!

    • R.A. Padmos here.

      As far as I’m aware Dutch police was first and last alert on making sure that no minors (people under the age of 21) were involved, because in those cases gay men definitely didn’t get send away with a slap on the wrist.
      In Unspoken Stefan and Adri luck out because of an act of pity from the arresting policeman, and that never would have happened if one of them would have been even a few days younger than 21.

      It is true that the Germans did make any form of homosexuality illegal, but that didn’t mean they had much active involvement with arresting Dutch gay men, in as far as no German soldiers were involved.
      A matter of priority, I dare to guess.

      For most gays the fear and deep shame was more than enough to keep them out of trouble. That’s what I remember most from the older gays and lesbians I talked with when I came out as a teenager around 1980 in Rotterdam, not the problems with the police, but the denial and shame for what often lasted decades. Near total invisibility was the main word, not persecution.

      Of course I don’t mean to imply that it wasn’t all that bad, because yes, it was that bad, but this story is not about external persecution but about the struggle of an individual man against his own nature.
      The prison others made could be (up to a certain point) avoided, but the self-made prison was always there.

  2. I wouldn’t say ignored it so much as downplayed it. As I mentioned in the review, the harassment they get from the police, and later the Germans, is downplayed to an extent. They seemed to have really had a lucky escape when the policeman catches them kissing in the park (this is before the Germans invade, BTW). Can’t say it wouldn’t have happened, but it does seem out of line with what history tells us. Yes, they get the hell scared out of them a couple of times with close calls, but that’s all that ever happens. They even make friends with a couple of German army men who are lovers.

    The fact that they actually suffer so little in reality (despite whatever fears they may express) is what makes all the talk about their plight sound more like whingeing.

    • The arresting policeman lets them go out of pity, but he wouldn’t have done so if Adri had been younger than 21. Because that was the main concern of the law, making sure that anyone (both men and women) under the age of 21 were protected against any form of homosexual contact.

      Unbelievable as it may sound, Pieter Koenders actually cites a few stories told by gay men who did have friendship and even sexual contact with German soldiers.

      As far as we can know only a minority of Dutch gay men were actually arrested, but I safely dare say that the vast majority lived in a prison of fear, shame and guilt. Even if they lucked out. Whingeing? Really?

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